As I typed that title I caught myself for a millisecond thinking people might construe it to mean I have been wrong about something I have written on the blog. Naturally, I got defensive. Why do we as people fear being wrong so much? Maybe it goes back to our childhood when we would be sent to “remedial” classes to “remedy” us if we did poorly (wrongly) on tests. Nowadays the kids are almost 100% judged by their standardized test scores so they can probably relate. But as a whole I think you’ll agree that we as adults are very afraid of being wrong, it shows in our toxic words and actions.
I teased my mom the other day about how she was wrong about something … a pop-culture factoid that I don’t even need to mention (it’s too complicated). Anyway she felt the need to explain that I had it wrong and not she. That was okay, especially now that I’ve thought this post through. Ring any bells about discussions with your relatives? Who cares if we are wrong? Unfortunately, we all do.
Think about what you lose when you are wrong. Is it so valuable that you would give up your sense of peace and well-being over it? Is it worth arguing your case over?
Folks it’s okay to be wrong. I am wrong about 70% of the time in my marriage and I can still wear a smile on my face. I am wrong at work quite a bit too, sometimes it is my 8 year old students who point it out to me. Have you ever argued with a child about how you are not wrong? I have. It’s embarassing when you have time to realize how stupid it was. Like as if a stranger comes up to tell you you need more acne control. It feels strange and awkward. I TRY TO look at those type of moments now as teaching moments to model for them how to be wrong gracefully. Let’s face it, it is not automatic.
We grow through being wrong, we stagnate through always being right. If you want to be right all the time, go live on a desert island … it’s not gonna be possible even there. You will find however that no one is there to see you become “humiliated.” Funny how humble and humiliated come from the same root. The best people through history had humility and were not afraid to admit when they are wrong.
The next time it comes to your attention that you have been wrong, don’t hide from it. Look them squarely in the face and say: “Thank you, I want to know when I am wrong so I can be better.” Being wrong is not the worst thing in the world, being afraid of it might be. How do you feel about being wrong?
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Actually, I don’t mind being proven wrong but I don’t like it when people tell me I’m wrong when I’m positively sure I’m right. Experience, however, taught me that even when I thought I’m 100% correct, there’s a chance that I might screw my facts somewhere, so I usually end this kind of argument with a very gracious, “Let’s ask our friend, Google, for the right answer” ;)
Ms last blog post..Do You Bite or Lick?
Too funny! I have learned that biting my tongue when I know I am wrong can also be an asset at work, as long as the thing doesn’t REALLY matter. Fine line though, thank you for pointing that out!
Or if you work in the service industry, just remember that the customer is always right–so I guess that would make you wrong 100% of the time at work.
Patricias last blog post..Serendipity of Commenting
I know that song. I was a Pizza Hut restaurant manager in my late 20’s. As a teacher now, we can sort of get away with being right over the parents and they ultimately thank us … on good days ;) Good comment.
I’m the kind of person that fears of being wrong. That make me to be careful on whatever I’m going to do. And sometimes it stops me from doing things, just because I’m not sure if I’m doing it right. And that makes me lack of self confident.
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Great comment. Someone once told me that most failure can be a step forward not backward. I’ve learned more from my failures than my successes. :)
I don’t mind being wrong so much, it’s just that I like to “argue my point” and discuss things when I am so that I can have a better understanding….I do sometimes like to just pick and argument though (kinda like picking a fight) over something totally random and unimportant…it’s funny how upset some people get when you try to argue with them though.
Nicks last blog post..Randy Pausch Has Passed Away
You certainly learn more from your mistakes. Striving to better yourself allows you to evolve. If you were right all the time, the fun of improving would not exist.
When I was younger, I hated being wrong. I guess with age and maturity, we are more open to criticism.
goofbloggers last blog post..How Much Traffic Is Necessary To Start Generating Income On A Make Money Blog
Ha! Great comment. maybe a tad sadistic toward the end. maybe that’s why you and I get along so well Nick.
Age has mellowed me for sure. Not when I know am right with my son though, somehow I need to not let that bother me so much. Thank you for your comment!
Just to let you know, men are more like 99.9% wrong in their marriage. A well known fact. :D
I think the fear of being wrong comes from feeling like we failed if we are wrong. Which totally isn’t true. We learn from our mistakes (as our mothers tell us). The more we willingly admit that we could have made a mistake, the easier it is to be open minded.
Although, I could be wrong.
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LOL. That tag at the end is so crucial. Thanks Katelyn.
You sound like me, Nick!
I’ve noticed that people are often afraid to ask questions because they are afraid of looking like they didn’t know something – which is similar to being wrong. There are many people who interpret discussion and questioning as argument – I think these people are most afraid of being wrong. To be challenged is the best way to become confident about what you know.
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