Category: Psychology

Cognitive psychology and issues of the brain are covered here.

Free Your Brain

April 28, 2009 – 9:08 pm
su button  Twitter button  pingfm
ADVERTISEMENT

I ran across this inspiring photo today at Neurophilosophy, a recent addition to my blogroll. Mo, the author, describes the photo in a post there, but here is an excerpt:

Purkinje cells are the largest cells in the mammalian brain. They have a planar structure with a highly elaborate dendritic tree.

I’ve become inescapably fascinated with the brain in the past decade. I’ve begun to see our thoughts in a new way: organic. Just like fertilizer helps a tomato to grow ripe and delicious, so our brains are in a cyclical process of bloom and wilt all the time. Today I am interested in sharing a theory of creativity with you. Imagine that your creativity is like a tree such as the photo you see above. Now imagine something you’ve been told or imagined you “COULDN’T” do for one reason or another. The best way to conquer such a lie is through the stimulation of creativity, and hence: solutions.

Here’s an example of just one crazy thing you can do:

Is there water by your house you can jump in? Do it. I don’t care if it’s cold and I don’t care if it’s even permissible to swim there. Breaking conventions awakens creativity and stimulates the dendrites. No imagine the tree above thriving and pulsating as you swim through the water. Voila! You are out of your rut. The only limitations on what you can do are in your mind, in an organic way. people have said “mind over matter” for years but really the mind itself is matter. It, and only it, holds the key to true human freedom and possibilities.

I wrote yesterday about how the brain is a fragile instrument that must be cared for. I discussed Phineas Gage and the brain injury he suffered at the hands of an exploding metal rod. One capacity that he lost in the 15 years after the accident was his inhibition. Inhibition is simply a region of our brain. It isn’t the ten commandments or even the voice of your parents you hear saying: “Don’t lie!” Instead, it’s like a fleshy computer hard drive that organizes facts and feelings into a paradigm that controls our every move.

Step out of it to escape your rut, or funk, or whatever malady afflicts you … allow creativity to go crazy. Whether it’s an impromptu swim or grocery go-kart races … the results will amaze you like the glowing photo above. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do something you want to do.

What other crazy things could you do to get your creative juices flowing?

By Damien Riley | Also posted in Inspiration | Tagged brain, brain injury, brains, creativity, dendritic tree, human freedom, mind over matter, philosophy, phineas gage, possibilities, theory of creativity | Comments (0)

Give Your Spouse the Little Things

April 22, 2009 – 8:34 pm
su button  Twitter button  pingfm
ADVERTISEMENT

It’s the little things that make your marriage solid. As with any relationship, a marriage can have its challenges. My wife do our periodic standoff every so often and it’s getting to be less taxing now that we’ve been together for 7 years. We also make sure to spend quality time enjoying each other so those tough disagreements aren’t fatal to the wonderful union we enjoy. I take notes on the thigs she likes and the things she doesn’t. Once in a while I surprise her by driving her down to a great steak restaurant. Other times I will stretch my movie tastes and go to a sappy chick flick :) Don’t tell my guy friends, but I actually like some of those!

She also is looking out for the things I like. I can remember one fight we had a long time ago where I decided to go to work without resolving it (which is willpower for me, I am a bit of a control freak). When I got home, candles were burning, my favorite food was on the table and she was wearing the sexy clothes I had told her I liked. Needless to say, we resolved the fight.

Keep an eye out for those “little things” your spouse enjoys and don’t save them for a rainy day, give them to her/him now.

By Damien Riley | Comments (0)

Positive Self-Talk in Uncertain Times

April 22, 2009 – 8:19 pm
su button  Twitter button  pingfm

I’ve talked with two people this past week who are frightened about the future. I heard that a local city was laying off 22 police officers and there are stories daily that come from my work’s “gossip mill” talking about the fiscal crisis affecting my state. No one knows how it will affect everything but I am positive it will affect the status quo in substantial ways.

Change can be scary. It’s hard to navigate your mood through waters that rise and fall and threaten to break your boat in two. You can try making an elaborate plan that involves creating a personal acronym or something involved like that. -or- There is something very simple and less time consuming you can do to weather the storm out: positive self-talk.

The best way I know how to stay positive through times like these is to live in the now.  Never look farther than 48 hours ahead. Long term goals are fine but you can get so nervous worried about the short term that your long term goals become irrelevant. Instead, set short-term goals and imagine that is all you have left. It may sound morbid but it really does work as a mental device for me. There are so many things out of our control that affect our destiny but don’t lose sight of the key things that are in our control. Try these mantras if you are having a tough time staying cool:

I am taking the time to do every project the best I possibly can.

I am trustworthy.

I have good intentions.

I aim to do right by my contributions.

etc.

Can you think of a few positive self-talk mantras to get you through the tough times?

By Damien Riley | Also posted in Self Improvement | Tagged goals, mental-health, Psychology, Self Improvement, success | Comments (0)

Put Your Mental Health First

April 22, 2009 – 8:16 pm
su button  Twitter button  pingfm

This time of year I am always just a little bit more stressed than usual. Like a runner straining through his laps at the 3/4 mark of a long distance race, I can see the end. At the same time, because I have chosen to take on tough projects and goals in my career, I get fatigued around March. When this hits, even the most admirable of goals must go on the back burner until I can get where I can run well again.  Forget the projects and goals, I have to be present and emotionally available to my wife and three kids when I get home.  This takes time “away” and an open mind to get there.

As a 4th grade teacher, each year my kids have to take a standardized test (cst). Nowadays a teacher’s career more or less mirrors those once-a-year scores. I’ve been very successful every year since 2003. Before that I was still finding my way as a teacher and there was not always the growth I wanted to see. Since then I have been successful because I stress a little more than usual. I don’t really know why so many people tend to think stress is bad. It’s only bad if you fail to manage it. You need to see yourself as a child. Would you drive a fatigued child into the ground with work and demands? Of course not. First of all, it would be terribly immoral and mean and second of all, it just wouldn’t get you the results you want anyway. At the same time, you know that child will never advance unless he is challenged at least a little.  That means a little stress.  So, if you are that child, what should you to to get yourself mentally healthy and strong to manage the stress? I’ll give you some thoughts but first here are 3 fatigued people I know whom I was thinking about this morning:

  • A middle aged single mom who has lost her job and doesn’t know how she will support herself and her kid.
  • A good-hearted single guy who is pining uncontrollably for a married woman half-way across the country.
  • A person who made a terrible mistake and is now facing the consequences.

As I have considered these people’s issues in the last month, I have come up with no solutions for them.  Nonetheless, I know they all need to put their mental health first.  They should all make an appointment with a psychologist (cognitive behavioral therapist) to get their minds healthier.  Without a rested, focused, and strong mind, goals and tasks are irrelevant.  Even one who might tell me, “But Damien, I can’t feed my family.”  I admit that is brutal; however, especially in these uncertain times, we must spend the hours in meditation and mind nurturing to keep ideas flowing through us.  I’ve organized my life so at any time I can comepletely disconnect from my tasks.  I keep them on a service called “Remember the Milk” online.  I know they will be there when I “re-emerge.” Try to set your tasks up that way.  Make your mental health a priority and you will see solutions materialize.

Did you ever have a terrible headache and then found it went away after a few ibuprofen and some “still time?”  Well, when your mental health improves after making it a priority it is kind of like that only instead of the pain subsiding, you become empowered and solutions run through your mind instead of sadness, melancholy, and fatigue.  Take care of yourself by making your mental health a priority today. Get away from your tasks and “the race.”  At my school, sometimes at lunch I will walk the soccer field.  Without blogs and tests and music and all the things I commit myself to, I need that time to remember why I do it and more importantly how to do it.

By Damien Riley | Also posted in Health, Self Improvement | Tagged Education, kids, life, marriage, mental-health, Psychology, relationships, Self Improvement, success, Teaching, Work | Comments (0)

Parenting is not for Kids

April 17, 2009 – 3:59 pm
su button  Twitter button  pingfm

My podcast this week is on being a dad.  My daughter pokes her head into the garage and interrupts a few times as I am recording.  You might call her my “guest” on the podcast ;)  I always feel a real sense of accomplishment when a thought makes it from “thought-to-podcast.” That’s one of the reasons I do these.  I hope you enjoy and can relate with this one.  Parenting can range in feelings from awe to the worst case of mesothelioma. I welcome your comments and/or discussion questions.

By Damien Riley | Tagged being a dad, dad at forty, parenting, Podcast, raising kids | Comments (0)

Keep Moving Forward

April 12, 2009 – 7:52 am
su button  Twitter button  pingfm

Walt Disney is one of my biggest heroes.  His most famous quote that I know of is “Keep Moving Forward.”  In this podcast, on Easter 2009, I elaborate on its meaning for me and you and anyone who calls themself a member of this crazy, wonderful human condition.  This quote has been my mantra lately.

You can read a whole webpage of quotes I enjoy and that I get inspiration from at my Crazy Quotes page.  I find that a simple quote can produce more inspiration than I ever imagined.  They are worth reading, thinking about, and collecting as you travel through the pilgrimage of life.  I hope you get some inspiration from the podcast.  Happy Easter, whether you celebrate it or not.

By Damien Riley | Also posted in Inspiration | Tagged Psychology, Self Improvement, Walt Disney Quote | Comments (0)

Things Tend to Work Out

April 8, 2009 – 10:08 pm
su button  Twitter button  pingfm

A positive message about assuming the best.

Positive thinking is for some people a dirty term. They think speaking positives and being positives in the face of negatives is a form of denial. They prefer to sulk and stay serious when circumstances seem to dictate their unhappiness. I must say that admittedly, I get like that sometimes but most the time I remember that things tend to work out.

Case in point: We moved into this house 9 months ago and the landscaping was shot. We’re talking weeds in the entire front yard and back and the pool didn’t work properly. We managed to get the pool working and had a fun short summer which started in July. After that, we shut the pool down and pretty much neglected it. The front yard’s weeds grew out after the snow melted and the backyard has become an absolute mess of weeds. In the past month, thanks to my wife’s and my efforts (mostly hers) the pool and the front yard now are looking great. I can remember more than a few times when we’d talk about the house and get so down like we’d never have enough money to do what we really want to do. We were wrong, it looks great now and it didn’t cost us much at all.

The one thing that always crosses my mind after things work out is this: “Why did I stress so much?” I think we’d all do well to remember the end the next time we are caught in the midst of uncertainty and fear. The end is that it works out … always. This could be a mantra to use the next time you get overwhelmed. I have something really big going on that I am working through right now. They mostly require waiting. As I wait what I need to remember is the mantra: “Things tend to work out.” The question one should be asking her/himself in these situations is not: “What if it all goes wrong?” Rather, you should be saying to yourself: “What if it works out?” I’ll tell you from my experience, it will.

As a closing tip, if you happen to be depressed about your weight, or if you would just like to lose a few pounds for health reasons, I’d like to recommend a appetite suppressant. Sometimes these can help you get started on the life changes necessary to “work out” your weight issues. Thanks for reading.

By Damien Riley | Tagged positive thinking, Psychology, Self Improvement | Comments (0)

Healthy Relationships, Negative People, and Boundaries

April 1, 2009 – 8:21 pm
su button  Twitter button  pingfm

Sometimes successful relationships are just not possible. What do you do when someone around you is in-your-face negative? Do you have a strategy for these “inspiration suckers?” Well, I can tell you one thing you cannot do with them: escape. I recall one day I was overhearing a very negative and counter-productive conversation. Rather than get involved in it and possibly get the proverbial: “What do YOU think Damien?” I ran out of that area. I went to a new location and tried to forget about the vitriolic stuff I had just overheard.

In that moment, I saw an even more negative situation where a kid was actually being the negative, toxic one. I realized then and there that you can run but you cannot hide from toxic people and their negative energy. I struggled for a long time develop a strategy for handling these people. One day it hit me as clear as day: ignore them. Can anything you do make a prickly plant soft? When you let these people affect your inner peace, you encourage them in essence. By ignoring these toxic people, you take away their power over you and over others. Why not turn the other cheek and daydream of Argentina travel? Even a toxic person knows what a closed door means. If you ignore them long enough, they will move on. It’s been said before that sometimes a healthy relationship can only be saved by putting your mental health first and ending it.

I would love to be able to tell you that these people will one day not be in our society anymore but they always have been and they always will. Just ignore them. They may not go away, but they won’t take anything good out of you. Oh one more thing, did you ever hear about the lifeguard that got pulled down and drowned while trying to save a flailing, pannicking swimmer? Both people died because the lifeguard tried to embrace a drowning man. Don’t let negative people pull you under, let them drown you’ve got better things to do anyway. You’ll learn as much as a psychology course when you take the step.

Do you think ignoring negative people is the best approach?

By Damien Riley | Tagged boundaries, negative people, people skills, psychology course, relationships, successful relationships, work relationships | Comments (0)

This Too Shall Wear Pants

April 1, 2009 – 8:16 pm
su button  Twitter button  pingfm

I wanted to blog on psychology tonight. It’s been a weird couple of days as I’ve been suffering a bad cough and visiting with my parents and extended family. Every time I hang out with my parents I remember certain stories of my life growing up. The “wear pants” one is a classic and definitely blogworthy. This story will probably give you some insight as to why my blog’s title has the funny farm in it. No, I’m just kidding. My parents were and are the best. But sometimes they were quite direct with me. Too direct? You be the judge.

Around age 11 I was really into surf shorts. At that time, about 1981, Stubbies and OP shorts were all the rage. They were quite expensive but my parents were able to buy some for me. I’ll never forget how “stoked” I was to get those! Well, stoked that is until one day when something happened …

A girl I thought was cute told me on the playground one day: “You have knobby knees.” eek. I was crushed. When I got home that night I whined to my mom about what she said and played the pity party violin for a good long session. When I was done my mom simply said:

Wear pants.

How could she! How unfeeling! Shouldn’t she apologize about my DNA? These are the sorts of thoughts that ran through my mind. But I’ve grown to appreciate her advice in grown up life.

When I’m tempted to whine about things or whimper or murmur, etc., I tell myself “Wear pants.” It’s a short phrase and it has tons of meaning for me. If I get worried or upset or other negative emotion about something, I can summon this phrase. The truth is, my legs weren’t knobby forever. Like then, most troubles are fleeting. As the saying goes: “This too shall pass.” So, how about this as a slightly altered “Funny Farm” phrase coined here officially tonight: “This too shall wear pants.” ;)

Do you have a memory you’ve made into a phrase?

By Damien Riley | Tagged knobby knees, negative emotion, parents, pity party, Psychology, story, stubbies, surf shorts | Comments (0)

The 'Way' of the Rooster

April 1, 2009 – 7:58 pm
su button  Twitter button  pingfm

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (987.3KB)

One significant thing I’ve learned from experience is that sometimes a little bluffing on the right topic can make a connection and allow you to bond with someone for life. That is, as long as you genuinely care about the other person in some way.  What follows is a story from my 20’s that brings that home.Have you ever listened to Ranchera music? This is the kind they play at weddings, for example, in the Oscar award winning movie Babel. It has big harmonies and ethnic instruments including spanish guitar and bass. the lyrics are very regional and ethnic as well in their content. One classic song you might know of in this genre is Cielito Lindo.

Anyway, about ten years ago I was running a small Pizza Hut and the cooks in the back were playing some very loudly. It irritated me at first, but then I thought: “Hmmm, I’m new here and this is a chance to win over the cooks by bonding with the music.”

I went back to Eliseo, the dough master, and grooved a bit to the beat: “Bump Bump Bump.” I said to him, “Eliseo, what is this song about. I like it!” Of course I was acting. I found it camp to the extreme. Eliseo looked up from the dough mixer, his dark shirt spotted with flour all over. He had a look of utter amazement that a “gringo” such as myself would be interested in Ranchera music.

“Wussup way?” (I’ve been told that “way” means a cow’s testicles. It is something guys call each other the same way we English speakers might call each other “animal” or “wild man.”) He said. “Do you know what this song is about ‘essay’?” (pardon my phonetic spellings) He went on to say: “This song is about the rooster!” He was proud in the chin as he continued. “The rooster gets all the chickens in the henhouse ‘way’.”

This was on the verge of side-splittingly funny to me, but I just chuckled respectfully and said, “Really? Very cool. I like the music. Can you let me borrow the CD?”

Eliseo and I were tight after that, giving daily high fives and 3 part handshakes. I never let on that I really hated Ranchera music. In fact, come to think of it, he never loaned me the CD either. Maybe he was wise to my scheme. Maybe it didn’t matter that I lied about liking it. Maybe it was enough just that the guy up front tried to connect with a colorful yet often invisible cook in the back. A cook who daily in the back of a Pizza Hut made dough and listened to otherwise encrypted lyrics about ‘the way of the rooster.’ I’m not saying I deserve any praise, but I’d like to think that after that day, Eliseo felt a little less invisible when I was running the shift.

By Damien Riley | Comments (0)

Page 2 of 121234510...Last »

Page 2 of 121234510...Last »