Comments on: Don't Care? Don't Speak.

By: Damien Riley

Damien Riley — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 22:38:26 +0000

Well thank you. Boundaries can be really hard to set but in most cases in my life, that hardline approach has made things easier.

By: Bobbie Dawn

Bobbie Dawn — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:08:22 +0000

thanks, I like your suggestions.

I will try them next time I am with her/talk to her.

By: Damien Riley

Damien Riley — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:53:02 +0000

My advice may be a bit brash, but it is how I deal with her type:
When it starts to feel uncomfortable, get out of the situation. Whether it be a phone call “Um, I have to go, call you later … clunk” of a family event: “Excuse me, I have to run out to the car I forgot something.”

It also might help to write a list of things you like discussing with your mom and let her know as much. You could make a list to share of the undesirable things as well if you want. That way she will start to get the point when you “have to go” during certain subjects.

Just a few thoughts.

By: Bobbie Dawn

Bobbie Dawn — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 18:33:34 +0000

Hi Damien,

I have had to learn boundaries in my life relationships from my therapist, and I have also (very recently) figured out that it is my mother that passed on the inability to make boundaries.

Problem: The only person left in my life that I still can’t make boundaries with is my mom. She is manipulative, but in a really nice way. She has a bitchy side to her, but not more than the average person, however she is in denial of any of her bad qualities, but it precisely these bad qualities that she uses against me and that I find myself HATING – even though I think I could live with them if I could either discuss them with her rationally, or just make some sort of boundary that I don’t get manipulated out of. Does that make sense?

Bobbie Dawn

By: The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely

The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely — Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

Don’t Care? Don’t Speak.